Devoted to your family

The month of February 2020 will be on the theme of Parenting. BUT before all of you single and married without children folks check out, I want you to know that many of the applications found in these articles will not only be useful for you in the future, but for the here and now and I will be putting some applications specifically for you in the last paragraph of each section.

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‘Why have we fasted, and you see it not? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you take no knowledge of it?’ Behold, in the day of your fast you seek your own pleasure, and oppress all your workers. 

Isaiah 58: 3 

I am a very light sleeper. I wake up every time the sound of my baby making his little shriek noises or cries, when Monica gets out of bed to feed him, and even when she climbs back into bed. And last night was no different. At about 7 am, Monica was just climbing back into bed, exhausted from caring for the little guy and it was 7:05 when he started to fuss a bit over the monitor. She had had a very long night and was pretty tired, and there I lay hoping to squeeze in some more zzz's since having stayed up until nearly 1 am with him. But my wife was tired and had fallen directly to sleep. There are only two options in these sort of scenarios: 1) shake Monica awake and pretend it was the dog that woke her or 2) sacrifice for her in this moment.

Being a father is a wonderful blessing from God, however it comes with a whole new set of challenges and ways in which he works to sanctify me. It is a time where I am starting to see more vividly the idol of self showing its ugly face in a very new way in my life.

• "I" have to go to work, and...
• "I" need to be well rested in order to do a good job and…
• "I" have so many other chores and obligations to do after work.

Those are some of the thoughts that ran through my head that I needed to repent of, because the truth is that my wife needs rest as well. And I also have an obligation to love and to lead my child and if I think about myself only, then I will be quick to neglect this priority. My duty is not to fulfill my own desires, but to obey God and to glorify Him in all areas of my life.

Even if I am doing work for God's kingdom, if it is at the cost of loving my wife I am being disobedient to God. In Isaiah 58, God speaks to the people through the prophet Isaiah to expose their hypocrisy. They outwardly were performing rituals and keeping up with traditions that God had required, but their hearts were far from him. They went through the motions and in other areas of their lives they lived wickedly and mistreated those in need or under their care. If we are to say that we love God, then we must be careful to understand what that means. When I return home from work, that is not the time when I get to finally rest from the day and to have my wife serve my needs. Instead, it is another opportunity from God to extend His love to others.

Father's, be devoted to your spouse and to your child. Many fathers will take up the mandate to provide for their family, but unfortunately too many forget that we are also to love our families. Be committed to serving your family even when it means sacrificing watching the big game or hanging out with some friends or reading that book you have been trying to crack open. I am not at all trying to guilt trip anyone or to make you think that you need to be at their beck and call, there needs to be a balance of leadership and self-care. What I want is for us fathers to better display the character and nature of God, who is all-loving and has sacrificed for us.

Sometimes it can be difficult for us to get out of ourselves, but here are a couple of suggestions:

1. Be more disciplined and learn to say "No". I know that this can be easier said than done, but you only have so much time in the day and so be wise with the time that God has given to you. Maybe it means saying "No" to all TV during the weekdays in order for you to devote more time to prayer and helping your spouse with the laundry.
2. Remember Christ's endurance to serve you by dying on the cross. These little sacrifices for your wife are just little ways to love them as Christ loved the church.
3. Remember that the world is not centered around you.
4. Enjoy quality time and bond with your child(ren). Even if they are newborns like mine, you can still read them Scriptures and sing songs of praise while you are holding them or changing out your 100th diaper of the day.
5. Find ways on your drive home to "De-stress" and still your mind and heart so that you do not grieve the Spirit in lashing out at your wife or child(ren). Perhaps you can use that time to meditate on God's word or the past sermon you heard. Or maybe just sit quietly in the car and let your mind rest instead of playing music.

For those of you who are not fathers or leading a family, the principles above still apply. The idolatry of self is a sin that humans have struggled with ever since Eve looked at the fruit as desirable to make herself wise. If you find that you are struggling with this, I would challenge you to find ways in which you can serve others. Whether it be helping them fertilize their lawn or simply bring donuts for everyone at your church for the morning service, find ways to serve others. And do so with joy and gladness, knowing that you are serving the Lord.

Grace and Peace,
Alex Galvez

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